10.35 pm

she never sits alone. she is surrounded with smiles and laughter.

and yet, why does this feeling consume her?

it sits

in her heart

like a rock.

like an anchor – but not the kind that keeps her

grounded and safe.

it is the kind that drags her down

down

down

down.

it’s suffocating.

but how can she feel alone? you ask.

how can she feel worthless when she has virtually everything?

how can she feel unloved when that boy with eyes the color of melted chocolate stands by her, whispering sweet nothings?

it is simple.

her pain is not your own.

her sadness is not your own.

you have not felt the depths of her despair,

you have not seen her crying out in agony

when even breathing is too difficult of a task.

it sounds selfish, but it is true. her pain is beyond your understanding.

 

over and over, she tells herself:

next time, she will not minimize her feelings.

next time, she will no longer push her opinions to the backseat.

next time, she whispers, she will realize that she is the

only

one

who can

understand

herself.

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