PSA

a reminder that you have to appreciate your family.

i know you might laugh at your parents because they take 20 minutes to send one short text. maybe they don’t know how to change the brightness on their phones. maybe they say things that embarrass you in front of your friends. but love them anyways. they are the ones who have raised you through all your weird phases, encouraged you to go to school, and loved you. sometimes you may think that they are overprotective and boring, but they were once young and reckless like you. 10,15, 20 years down the road you will see the sparkle in their eyes start to fade, and their skin will no longer be as fresh. love them anyways. do little things for them without them asking you to – laundry, cleaning, cooking (as long as you don’t burn down the house). surprise them with gifts, and tell them you love them. tomorrow is not a given.

siblings. they are the worst but the best at the same time – lemons and sugar wrapped up in one package to make lemonade. do not forget that they are human beings just like you – treat them well, especially in front of your friends. do not exclude them from any parties or social gatherings, because when your friends leave you, they’re all you have left. years later, you will realize the cold, formal distance between the ones who should be tied to you with chords of love.

some of you may not have siblings or parents – but you have people who have been your family through thick and thin. treasure them.

we only have this life, and we should make the most of it so that we are a light and a blessing to all who come into our circle.

 

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feeling inspired. stay tuned for more posts.

last words: 9.48 pm

there was too much blood. I attempted to lift my head, then gave up immediately when a piercing pain sliced through my chest. my mind spun, trying its best to calculate as the thick haze of death began to settle in. at most, I probably had only 5 minutes left.

a few seconds passed as I lay bleeding on the dirt. I closed my eyes, then suddenly reopened them. a single thought flashed through my brain over and over.

“Caroline…Caroline..” I muttered weakly, fumbling in my torn pocket for my phone. Speed-dialing her number, I prayed that she would pick up.

“Rowan!” her familiar gentle voice rang out.

“Caroline,” I sighed, relieved. “How are you?”

“I’m fine, love….how are you?”

Grimacing, I answered, “I’ve been better. How was your day?”

I could almost see her dark green eyes shining as she spoke wistfully. “The usual. I miss you – when am I going to see you again?”

the pain sharpened. I tried my best to stifle a groan, but it slipped out.

“Honey? Are you alright?”

“Yeah. Yeah. Hey, listen.” I spoke urgently, knowing my time was soon drawing to a close.

“Okay?”

deep breaths.

“I love you,” I whispered, as the agony grew stronger with every moment.

her voice faltered for a second. “Rowan? Are you-”

I cut her off. “I love you so much, Caroline Davis. I just want you to know that no matter what, I will always love you.” tears began dripping onto my cheeks.

I fought for breath. Just a few more seconds.

her smile leaked into her voice. “I love you more, Rowan Cooper.”

I savored each syllable, for it would be the last time I would ever hear those words.

“I love you the most.”

 

those were my last words.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

11.35 am

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“Good morning, what can I get you today?” he smiled at their first customer that morning. the customer rattled off their order while he punched in the numbers and got to work brewing the coffee.

the rich and cozy smell filled the air inside the cute little coffee shop as sunlight and people streamed in.

“Don’t forget to add the cream before you mix,” he told a newer worker kindly. she nodded gratefully, and he returned to his post at the cash register, busily working on some supply forms. a pair of heels clicking up the line announced the arrival of another customer. he looked up, immediately pasting a smile on his face – and froze.

she was standing before him, in real life, with color in her cheeks and sparkles in her sea green eyes. the days when he had run his fingers through her auburn hair suddenly seemed like yesterday instead of years ago.

“Um…uh…what can I…uh get you this morning?” he stuttered.

she smiled, and he felt his knees go weak. “I’ll have a large mocha cappuccino with extra whipped cream, please,” she requested in her soft voice. he swallowed, remembering the nights when that smooth voice in his ear was all he’d ever wanted.

with trembling fingers, he punched in the digits and looked up. “That’ll be $4.57, but don’t worry, it’s on me.”

she raised an eyebrow, giving him a grateful smile. “Oh thank you….” she glanced at his name tag. “Marcus.” she frowned, a confused expression flitting across her face. “Do I know you?”

his heart jumped into his throat. he swallowed several times, willing the painful ache in his chest to disappear. a few seconds hung in the air, waiting. he exhaled.

“No,” he smiled sadly. “No, you don’t.”

 

 

~ a bit of a sad post, haha – let me know what you guys think down below in the comments <3

mariposa – 7.06 pm

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Many quotes have been written on the concept of a caterpillar turning into a butterfly.

“Everything will work out more beautifully than you can imagine,” they say, nodding knowingly at the miraculous transformation. One of nature’s finest works.

“You may be a caterpillar now, but someday you will be a beautiful butterfly.”

Someday. Someday. Someday….

We often romanticize the thought that everything is going to be okay – we simply recognize the beginning and the end, without giving thought to the middle.

Everyone fantasizes about turning into a butterfly, but very few realize that we have failed to take note of the most important part: the transformation within the chrysalis.

While the caterpillar is in the chrysalis, its body begins to break down and dissolve. All the organs that sustain the little caterpillar disappear. They are turned into liquid, and the caterpillar becomes no more than a helpless puddle.

Similarly, on our journey, we will be broken down. We will be dissolved into anxiety, constant fear and insecurities, and shattered dreams. Seemingly everyone that had ever given us hope will fade away, leaving us helpless and hopeless. The transformation itself is not a concept to be taken lightly.

After the caterpillar is turned into a puddle of liquids, it starts to rebuild itself. Slowly but surely, antennae and wings form perfectly, barely visible through the glistening chrysalis. In the same way, we need to rebuild from our ashes. We need to create a new outlook on life, a new love for others, a new patience.

But, as the caterpillar finally emerges from its chrysalis in the form of the butterfly, its struggles aren’t over. Adjusting into its new life isn’t easy – they have to patiently wait for their wings to unfold.

Just like the newly formed butterfly, we must be patient with ourselves. Don’t rush yourself, because if you do, you will find yourself back at square one. And eventually, as you become stronger, you’ll see your glorious, sun dazzled wings rising above you.

So be patient. Wait a little longer. Trust a little more. You may be a helpless puddle of brokenness right now, but I promise you that everything will not only be “okay” in the end, it will be better than you could ever have imagined.

remember, it is the journey, not the destination.

Born with it. (Part 1)

I was born with it. Simple.

I was born with the gift. The gift – the kind that the universe grants to one only once in many lifetimes.

everyone in society is taught and educated about how they have a soulmate – one who is the cause of their laughter, the antidote for their sadness, the love of their life. but that theory has never been completely proven.

until now.

if you could gaze through my eyes, you would see that I can perceive tiny, delicate threads connecting two people together. no one else can see those lines. just me.

I call them “strands of fate.” they can never be broken – they are made of a substance that this world has not discovered yet.

these strands are different colors depending on the two people – sometimes they are the color of the sea in a fierce storm, or the color of the honey colored light that filters through my window at precisely 4:12 pm on a Wednesday evening.

I still do not know the reason why they are different colors, but I hope to know someday from Them. For now, I live quietly with my gift – I have been instructed not to tell anyone, not even my own family. I know that They mean well, so I will follow Their command.

So I do not tell my best friend that the soft eyed, brown haired boy she is in love with is bound by those strands to another girl.

I do not tell the barista at the coffee shop that there is a soft blue thread tying her to the shy, awkward boy that comes in every so often just to see her smile.

I do not tell my parents that they are connected to each other by a silver thread that can never be broken – a clear sign that the plans of the universe had worked out. I love seeing their thread sparkle in the light – it gives me hope that maybe someday, I will find the person at the other end of my thread.

Every night, before I fall asleep, I hold my glistening strand carefully in the palm of my hands. It is of a color that I have never seen before – there are no words to describe it. if you care, it is like the passion of two lovers, the beauty of a rose, the calmness of a lilac sunset all combined together.

and every night I whisper:

“someday…I will find you.”

***

 

GUYSS I’M SO EXCITED FOR THIS SERIES!! I hope you enjoyed reading the first part, and please leave a comment telling me what you think! your feedback means the world to me :) have a wonderful day!

 

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Home

 

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that one word can trigger a million different meanings:

it could be a place – your childhood home where you grew up.

it could be a certain moment, locked away inside a box of time that you regularly open, just to feel all the emotions rushing back and bringing a smile to your face.

it could be a specific feeling – like that one time you and your best friend stayed up talking til 2 am, and finally falling asleep hours later with the taste of that ben and jerry’s caramel ice cream on your tongue.

it could be a person – someone that sends you into spiral of joy, nervousness, and happiness all at once. someone who, just by seeing them or hearing their voice, refreshes your entire soul and body.

or it could even be

yourself.


so before you build a home within anyone or anything, remember that you should find home within yourself.

your happiness does not depend on another person, so don’t put yourself in that empty prison.

repeat after me: your happiness does NOT depend on how another person treats you.

when you are nervous, falling apart, and afraid, pray. learn to forgive and accept yourself; even better, to love yourself. learn to love others. and finally, love God, because dwelling in Him is the most peaceful thing that you’ll ever experience~

Not That Simple

hey guys! sorry I haven’t posted for a whole month ahh – life has gotten way too busy! so, to reward you guys for being patient, here’s a little story for valentine’s day :)

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she loved him, and he loved her…but it wasn’t that simple. nothing ever was. and nothing ever will be.

she was the sun — an endless ball of fire, energy, and passion, blazing into infinity. a bit on the wild side.

and he was the sky, calm, steady, and reassuring. ever present. holding her up. accepting her flaws.

it seemed like they had been with each other since the beginning of time – no one really remembered when they met. but they were quite the dynamic duo, fearlessly pacing through each day and night – she was always in the lead; he was always at her side.

“opposites attract,” everyone said knowingly of the pair.

“peanut butter and jelly.”

“fire and ice.”

“sunshine and rain.”

“peanuts and popcorn.”

“we’re just friends,” they responded, laughing. but everyone knew they existed only for each other.

they thought they would be together forever…but it wasn’t that simple. you see, life has a tendency to pull apart the most committed and dedicated of lovers.

— eventually, the sky became too distant from the sun, who in turn, became too fiery and unmanageable without him to keep her in check. no one could handle her; no one could reach him.

so they faded from existence, each completely lost without the other. the universe cracked at the seams, and their story was gradually forgotten.

never to be relived, and never to be told again.

 

 

 

9.22 pm

“Miss? Are you alright?”

I snapped to attention, quickly glancing around the tiny coffee shop – the only coffee shop, in fact, that existed in my tiny town. I’d been drowsy, lured to sleep by the golden smiles of sunshine glimmering through the antique windowpanes. “Sorry,” I blurted, looking up – and stopping.

she looked at me over her tinted, jeweled sunglasses with eyes so blue I thought I might drown in them. reaching out a velvet gloved hand, the flawless woman touched my arm. “Are you alright, darling?” her voice had a touch of an accent as she repeated the question.

normally, I would’ve been creeped out. I mean, this woman looked like someone from…well anywhere but here. 2 seconds were all I needed to sum her up. fancy purse, perfect makeup, jewels across her throat – she’d fit in a lot better posing next to the Hollywood sign than standing over the cracked and scratched coffee table that wobbled when you leaned on it.

“Um…yes, I am.” I stirred my macchiato as the lie tumbled out. without a second of hesitation, the movie star worthy woman pulled out the chair opposite me and sat down with perfect grace.

“Tell me all about it,” she declared.

“Excuse me?”

“You know, as well as I do, that your heart is weary.” the stranger sipped her drink that had seemingly come out of nowhere. figures.

I, on any other day, would’ve run out of the shop a longgg time ago. but there was something about her that compelled me to stay. so I did.

“I can’t let go of him.” the words escaped my mouth as easily as a breath of air. “Even after everything that’s happened…I can’t.”

she looked at me over her sunglasses, legs crossed like she was at a photo shoot. a whiff of Chanel perfume washed over me as she leaned across the ancient table.

“Darling,” she whispered, “not everyone you lose is a loss.”

 

and then I woke up.

 

 

8.07 pm

he stared at the worn, loved journal. breathless. he knew the girl whom it belonged to, but he gingerly lifted its leather cover anyways. his eyes fell on the first page, covered in familiar, neat handwriting. swallowing, he began to read the words.

“I miss you.

There’s no other way to put it.

I miss you from the bottom of my heart, and with all of my broken pieces. I miss you so much and so intensely that it feels as if the sky caved in on me and drenched me with all of its glittering stars. I miss your soft eyes, your soothing voice, and your strong arms as they embraced me. You didn’t know it, but when you held me, you held my whole world together. I knew falling in love with you, of all people, was a dangerous risk. But you hugged me so tightly that all my broken pieces stuck back together. You loved me so fiercely until all I saw was you; all I thought of was…

You.

And now, watching you look at her the way you looked at me. It feels as if the wispy, gray clouds have enveloped me in their haze of sadness. No, not sadness. What I feel is more than sadness. It’s as if the sun has refused to shine, and the moon no longer illuminates the velvety darkness of the still night. It’s like living life without laughter; living in a world without color.

  I don’t want to miss you. But I do. Not missing you is as impossible as breathing without air. It’s a feeling that is always present, no matter how occupied I am.

  So if you ever read this, I hope you know how much and how deeply I loved you, and still do. I miss you, and it cuts me to know that you aren’t missing me back.”

– november 2016 / 8:07 pm.

the boy let out a shuddering sigh, laid the journal down, and looked at the gravestone with the familiar name etched onto it.

  “I miss you too…” he whispered. “But now it’s too late.”

Day 27: Unfinished.

I’m the kind of person who loves to put their earbuds in and stare dreamily out the car window at the passing scenery, whether that scenery is the wonderful handiwork of God (nature) or a busy freeway packed with cars.

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I also love airports – for the organized chaos that reigns everywhere you walk, and also for the delighting variety of people you see there.

Confession: I love people-watching.

I like to wonder what kind of lives they have. Does the man slumped in the bus station have a warm home to return to? Does the tired-looking cashier wearily scanning potatoes get enough rest? The little girl, walking all alone behind a loud chattering group of children on their way home for school – is she okay? Does she have a loving family?

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Every pair of eyes I see holds some kind of emotion – joy, fear, sadness. There is so much pain in this world and it has affected many people in many different ways.

Every person has a story to tell that makes them unique and different, and every story is worth hearing. I have a story full of ups and downs that would take a lifetime to retell – and it is still being written. It’s unfinished; a rough draft.

What’s your story?

 

 

Day 22: What if?

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What if our eyes saw souls instead of bodies? How different would our perception of beauty be?

What if all our dreams came true?

What if there was no hate, and everyone loved each other without focusing on their negative points?

What if you and your best friend never met? (*cough* I’d be dead…)

Also, thank goodness for Steve Jobs.

What if an asteroid really did hit Earth and killed the dinosaurs…what if it was a UFO and we’re the aliens @_@

What if we never made mistakes?

What if we could say things that fit each situation perfectly, every single time? (this would help me so much…I’m an awkward potato :/ )

What if there was no depression?

What if everyone’s sole purpose in life was to bring joy to others? Imagine how lovely that would be :33

What if we stopped saying “what if” and started saying “Let’s”?

— something to think about.

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btw, what are your what if’s?

 

 

 

Day 21: Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow

Image result for write a goodbye between two people who have met for only a moment

“Mer, hi!” Sarah flashed her dazzling white smile at me, and I smiled back.

“Hey! It was great meeting you this weekend at the camp-out. Hope to see you again sometime.” I leaned forward, embracing her for a quick moment.

“Absolutely. You have my number, right?” She pointed at my phone, and I nodded.

“I’ll definitely hit you up.”

“Great. My parents are calling, I gotta go. Bye!” She waved and jumped inside her white car.

“Bye!” I called lightheartedly, waving as the vehicle sped away.

 


 

There were a lot of things I wanted to say. Millions of memories raced through my mind as his dark green eyes melted into my dark brown ones. Memories from the past 17 years as best friends slowly spilled out of my eyes and onto my cheeks. I stood next to the pile of suitcases, my hands trembling in my jacket pockets as the hum and bustle of the airport swirled around us two. Neither of us paid attention to it.

“Mer,” he murmured slowly, then reached out, gently wiped the memories from my face, and pulled me close. I blinked back my tears and tried the memorize the familiar clean scent of his clothes.

“Don’t go,” I mumbled into his jacket. The one that I’d bought him last Christmas. The one he wore practically every day. “Don’t go to some university in some other state and leave me here.” His arms tightened around me and an audible sigh escaped him.

“You know I have to, Mer. It’s not my choice. My parents want me to do this. I’d never leave you out of my own will.” I felt his strong hands rub soothing circles in my back, trying to suppress my ragged breathing.

A few minutes passed with the two of us holding each other in the middle of the airport. I was aware of the stares and whispers, but none of it mattered. Only he mattered.

“Make me proud, Mer. Promise me you’ll make me proud.”

I promised.

Half an hour later, I watched him walk into the airplane. Bracing myself, I saw his tall, fit figure turn and wave at me. I saw the pain in his eyes. I waved back, trying to be strong for his sake.

“Goodbye,” I whispered.

and the memories flooded out of my eyes once more.

 

*sorry if this was more of a sad post, but it fit the prompt *shrugs* I wrote it in first person so you, dear reader, could experience what the main character was feeling. let me know what you think! don’t be afraid to criticize :)

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Day 17: 7 Things To Do When You’re Feeling Nostalgic

  1. Take a walk in nature.
  2. Watch the sunset – there’s something captivating about watching a fiery golden ball throw purple, pink, and orange hues across the indigo skies.
  3. Look at old photographs – this is one of my absolute favorites and always transports me back in time.Image result for tumblr pic of polaroids
  4.  Read an old entry in a journal or a diary.Image result for tumblr pic of old journals
  5.  Go on a long drive with that nostalgic playlist going.
  6. Read a book in a quiet, little cozy corner of your house that’s preferably naturally lit. Image result for tumblr pic of little cozy corner
  7. Take a warm shower.

I hope you’ll find these tips useful :D

 

inspired by Free People’s blog

Day 16: rant.

Insecurities.

why do they even exist? why do they torment my mind at all hours and moments of the day. of my life? they destroy not only my confidence, but everyone else’s self-confidence.

insecurities are always pressuring us to look like others, act like others, listen to the same songs as others.

we should be allowed to love ourselves. after all, we are God’s masterpieces. insecurities, you shouldn’t be allowed to destroy us from the inside out. I’m tired of not being tall enough, not being skinny enough, not being fit enough, not cool enough, not pretty enough. I’m just tired of not being enough. it takes all of 3 seconds to compare ourselves with others. society is constantly slapping us with images of how we should look and behave. give us freedom to be ourselves, to embrace ourselves for who we really are. honestly guys, let the haters hate. you are beautiful. you are strong. you are worth it. God has brought you through everything that you thought you wouldn’t get through. you’ll live.

you’ll be okay, and it’s perfectly fine to cry. it’s okay to spend sleepless nights. fall in love with yourself, and fall in love with Him. you are His unbelievably precious, precious masterpiece. He loves you, and I do too. sorry this post was long, but it was needed.

 

 

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Day 15: A Bucket List

  1. Meet my online best friend <3
  2. Image result for blonde and brunetteLearn how to read and write Chinese
  3. Get a corgi puppy and name it Kimbap or Flynn u.u dog_02.jpg
  4. Travel to Japan or Korea for the summer
  5. Learn ukulele again
  6. Image result for ukulele tumblrGo hiking in Hawaii
  7. Image result for pic of hiking in hawaiiBe able to witness to people on a mission trip.
  8. Enjoy one relaxing day with no stress ._.